Becoming You
Bishop Richard C. Edgley
First Counselor in the Presiding Bishopric
CES Fireside for Young Adults
3 November 2002
It is a privilege for me to speak with you this
evening. My delight stems not just from who you are but maybe even more
important, from who you may become.
In 1955, after my first year of college, a friend
and I spent the summer working at the newly constructed Jackson Lake Lodge
in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. We arrived at the lodge in time to help prepare
for its grand opening. As the date of the anticipated celebration approached,
we learned two important things about the grand opening. First, many dignitaries,
prominent businessmen, civic leaders, and western governors would be there.
Most important, however, we learned that President David O. McKay would
be present. The second thing we learned was that there was going to be
a gigantic cocktail party between 2:00 and 5:00 in the afternoon, where
a lot of alcohol would be served.
Having already completed one year of college and
thus being reasonably bright, we concluded that President McKay was going
to have some free time that afternoon, and we decided we would help relieve
his boredom. Having wrangled President McKay’s room number from
one of the young men who worked at the front desk, we timidly made our
way to his room and knocked on the door. In a few moments we were mesmerized
as we stood in the presence of the tall, stately, white-haired prophet
of the Lord. We were in his presence, and we felt the spirit that radiated
from his very being. While we stood in awe, however, it was apparent that
we had awakened him from a nap and that his dear wife was still sleeping.
In spite of our inappropriate intrusion into a
very scarce moment of rest and solitude, he was ever so gracious and showed
a sincere interest in us. After a few moments of conversation, he returned
to his room and we began down the hallway, joyful and in awe, for we had
just shaken the hand of God’s living prophet. We had only taken
a few steps when his door opened again. President McKay stepped out into
the hallway and called out, “Boys, remember who you are.”
Now that was not the first time I had heard the
phrase “Remember who you are.” I had heard it many times from
my Young Men leaders and my bishop. I heard it from my parents almost
every time I went out on a date. I even heard it from my football and
basketball coaches. In fact, I had heard it so often that I was beginning
to become irritated with the constant reminder. But this time it was different.
It was coming from a prophet of God: “Boys, remember who you are.”
And importantly implicit in President McKay’s
statement is the phrase “Remember what you can become.” This
brings me to what I consider to be perhaps the most fundamental doctrine
of the gospel. It is a doctrine so fundamental that even the Atonement
of our beloved Savior is based upon it. It is a doctrine that is the cornerstone
of what Alma called the “plan of happiness” (Alma
42:8). It is a doctrine of hope. It is a doctrine of perspective.
It is a doctrine of faith. It is a doctrine of vision. And it is a doctrine
of strength and fortification.
When the Lord had a very important work for Moses,
the Lord began to orient and prepare him for his responsibilities. We
read in the first chapter of Moses that the Lord talked to Moses face
to face. Thus began the important teaching about who God was and who Moses
was. God declared to Moses, “Behold, thou art my son” (Moses
1:4). During this orientation God showed Moses the vastness and wonders
of His creations. And then He referred to Moses as His son three different
times and then explained that Moses was created “in the similitude
of mine Only Begotten; and mine Only Begotten is and shall be the Savior,
for he is full of grace and truth” (Moses
1:6). Reinforcing this understanding, Moses’ spiritual eyes
had been opened, and he saw God, his Father, in whose image he was created.
With this experience Moses had his eyes opened, and his vision of his
worth and capabilities expanded. And with this new knowledge Moses was
prepared for the work God had for him.
I don’t believe this account in the Pearl
of Great Price was recorded in such detail for the sole purpose of filling
a couple of pages of scripture or to merely display the vastness of God’s
creations. There is significant purpose in these passages—the power
of just knowing and remembering who you are and what your divine potential
is.
Benjamin Franklin, an early American statesman
and signer of the Declaration of Independence, gave meaning to this understanding
and knowledge when he wrote the following:
We stand at the crossroads,
each minute,
each hour,
each day,
making choices.
We choose
the thoughts
we allow ourselves to think,
the passions
we allow ourselves to feel,
and the actions
we allow ourselves to perform.
Each choice
is made in the context
of whatever value system
we’ve selected
to govern our lives.
In selecting that value system,
we are,
in a very real way,
making the most important choice
we will ever make.
Those who believe there is one God
who made all things
and who governs the world by his Providence
will make many choices different
from those who do not.
Those who hold in reverence
that being who gave them life
and worship Him through
adoration,
prayer,
and thanksgiving
will make many choices different
than those who do not.
Those who believe
that mankind are all of a family
and that the most acceptable
service of God
is doing good to man
will make many choices different
from those who do not.
Those who believe
in a future state
in which
all that is wrong here
will be made right
will make many choices different
from those who do not.
Those who subscribe
to the morals of Jesus
will make many choices different
from those who do not.
Since the foundation of all happiness
is thinking rightly,
and since correct action
is dependent on correct opinion,
we cannot be too careful
in choosing the value system
we allow to govern
our thoughts and actions.
And to know that God governs
in the affairs of men,
that he hears and answers prayers,
and that he is a rewarder of them that
diligently seek Him,
is indeed,
a powerful regulator
of human conduct.
(Benjamin Franklin’s The Art of Virtue: His Formula for Successful
Living, ed. George L. Rogers, 3rd ed. [1996], 88–90.)
I would add to Benjamin Franklin’s statement
by saying that those who believe they are sons and daughters of God, created
in the image and likeness of the Only Begotten Son, “will make many
choices different from those who do not.” And why is this so important
to us? Because ultimately we become the product of the myriad choices
we are constantly making: choices that may seem quite inconsequential
today but that may have an enormous impact on what measure of being we
become; choices that sometimes isolate us from our peers on certain matters
of principle; choices that are popular and choices that are unpopular;
choices that are seen by others and choices that are known by only you
and God.
And thus our value system becomes our anchor and
mooring for life’s greatest decisions, and our knowledge of who
we are and what our relationship is with God becomes the basis for the
value system upon which all these choices are based. Yes, those who know,
who really know unequivocally that they are a son or daughter of God,
created in the image and likeness of the Only Begotten, will make many
choices different from those who do not. In the final analysis, our very
salvation is simply a matter of our cumulative choices. Living righteously
is based on an understanding of our relationship with the Almighty, an
understanding of how we fit into the grand scheme of things. A constant
reminder to ourselves that our value system is based upon being sons and
daughters of God provides both the perspective and the strength to make
correct choices. And with this knowledge, the choices flow.
In Ecclesiastes we read, “To every thing
there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
“A time to be born, and a time to die; a
time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted” (Ecclesiastes
3:1–2).
As young adults you have arrived at a very special
time in your life. You are in the planting season as you are in the process
of making many of life’s most important choices—choices of
education, profession, whom and how you will marry, what kind of parent
and eternal companion you will be. This planting season is compressed
into a very few years, years of great consequence. Thus yours is a season
of planting for a future that will bring an abundant harvest at the “time
to pluck up that which is planted.” Indeed, you stand at a crossroad
of eternal consequences. With this in mind, let me suggest three choices
I believe are appropriate and critical to your future—three choices
of planting for a future harvest:
1. Choose to be a righteous example.
2. Choose to become self-reliant.
3. Choose a celestial marriage and eternal family.
Choose to Be a Righteous Example
Lehi taught: “Wherefore, men are free according
to the flesh. . . . They are free to choose liberty and eternal life,
through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death,
according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that
all men might be miserable like unto himself” (2
Nephi 2:27).
At the time of our baptism we made important choices.
We chose to become a member of Christ’s true Church. We chose to
take upon ourselves the name of Christ, and in so doing we chose to be
an example to the entire world. This is a responsibility we cannot pass
by lightly. The Savior reminded us of our responsibility to be an example.
Speaking to us through the holy scriptures, He declared:
“Ye are the light of the world. A city that
is set on an hill cannot be hid.
“Neither do men light a candle, and put it
under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that
are in the house.
“Let your light so shine before men, that
they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven”
(Matthew
5:14–16).
On my first day in graduate school I was in an
economics class where the professor asked each of us to introduce ourselves
and tell what university we had graduated from. When I explained I had
graduated from Brigham Young University, the professor interrupted the
discussion and said, “It’s nice to have another student from
BYU.” Then he inquired, “Do you know so and so?” I knew
of him. Then he asked if I knew another BYU graduate, whom I did know.
After naming several others, he concluded by saying: “They were
great BYU students—men of character. It is nice to have you among
us.”
I was frankly somewhat embarrassed and uncomfortable
with the attention. The professor was crediting the students’ favorable
traits to being graduates of BYU when in reality they were LDS students
living gospel standards. And what he failed to understand is that we have
LDS men and women of this caliber in universities all over the world.
Nevertheless, candles had been lit, lights had been shown. Those BYU graduates
had set a standard, and I was a little anxious about whether I would be
able to maintain it. But I was determined to try to light another candle.
Alma refers to this light as “countenance”
(see Alma
5:14). Each of us is responsible for the countenance that shines from
within us. The personal light that radiates from our faces is either brightened
or dimmed by the righteous or the unrighteous choices we make. At the
time the Church was negotiating with the Jewish officials regarding the
purchase of land and the construction of the Jerusalem Center, one of
the conditions for approval was that we would not proselytize citizens
in Israel. Reportedly, after we had pledged acceptance of that condition,
the Jewish government official stated: “We believe you. We believe
you will not use this facility to proselytize the Jewish people. But how
will you take the light out of the eyes of your students?” What
a tremendous compliment to our students and members who were lighting
candles—lights shining forth as righteous examples.
Every time we partake of the sacrament we remind
ourselves of the important covenants made at baptism and we renew the
covenant to take upon us the name of Christ. This is a responsibility,
attached with all the blessings that a loving Father can give.
You as young adults have many pressures put upon
you. Satan is using all his cunning devices and supporting forces to influence
your choices toward iniquity. His objective is to blow out candles, to
extinguish the light. We are not at all surprised by this. It was explained
as part of the great plan, and we have subsequently had very specific
warnings regarding Satan’s power, influence, and determination.
Nephi prophesied more than twenty-five hundred years ago of the trials
and turbulence that you would face. You all know the scripture. It is
found in the 28th chapter of 2 Nephi:
“For behold, at that day shall he [Satan]
rage in the hearts of the children of men, and stir them up to anger against
that which is good.
“And others will he pacify, and lull them
away into carnal security, that they will say: All is well in Zion; yea,
Zion prospereth, all is well—and thus the devil cheateth their souls,
and leadeth them away carefully down to hell” (2
Nephi 28:20–21).
I believe this scripture is true. I believe the
time is now. And I believe the target is you. For the most part, Satan
has made great strides in establishing and selling his value system, which
is based upon the son of man, not the Son of God: “Eat, drink, and
be merry, for tomorrow we die” (2
Nephi 28:7) and “There is no hell” (2
Nephi 28:22). His is a value system based upon selfishness, self-indulgence,
and immediate gratification. Thus we see devastating decisions constantly
being made by those of your age. We see cultures infested with drugs,
sex, alcohol, pornography, laziness, and many other spiritually devastating
practices. But that does not have to be you.
President Gordon B. Hinckley has warned us and
pleaded with us: “I wish to say in the strongest language of which
I am capable, stay away from moral iniquity. You know what is right and
wrong. You cannot use ignorance as an excuse for unacceptable behavior. . . .
“I beg of you, my dear young friends, to
avoid such behavior. It will not be easy. It will require self-discipline.
The forces you confront are powerful and inviting. They are the forces
of a clever adversary. You need the strength that comes of prayer”
(“To Men of the Priesthood,” Ensign, Nov. 2002, 58–59).
We don’t have to fall into Satan’s
trap of immorality, sexual experimentation, inappropriate music, and you
know the rest. Those of us who know we are sons and daughters of God,
created in the image and likeness of His Only Begotten, will face temptation
differently than those who do not. Those of us who know we are sons and
daughters of God will stand for principle and on a higher moral plane
than those who do not. Those of us who know we are sons and daughters
of God will have light that shines differently than those who do not.
We will have light that cannot be hid.
It was Joshua who said, “Choose you this
day whom ye will serve” (Joshua
24:15). It is our day and our choice as to whom we will serve.
Some years ago a Canadian convert family was driven
from their home because of persecution. As they left their home for a
more hospitable place to live, they rewrote the words to a hymn with these
words:
Dare to be a Mormon;
Dare to stand alone;
Dare to have a purpose firm;
Dare to make it known.
(See Mark E. Petersen, in Conference Report, Apr. 1952, 104.)
Amanda Wallace, a young high school freshman in
Gilmer, Texas, wrote in her journal after severe and steady persecution
from her high school peers for standing up for her religion: “I
know through the trials I’ve faced and have overcome that the blessings
do follow eventually. . . . I love my Savior and know firsthand that anything
that doesn’t kill me will make me stronger and help me love Him
more, and I await the day that I am in His presence again that He might
say, ‘Well done, thou good and faithful servant.’”
When the Prophet Joseph Smith was in the midst
of translating the Book of Mormon, Martin Harris’s wife was skeptical.
She had an interest in the work since Martin was going to fund the printing
of the first edition with a mortgage on their home. To satisfy her questioning
faith, Martin asked Joseph if she could just see not the plates themselves
but a portion of the manuscript translated from the plates.
You know the story. The Prophet inquired of the
Lord about this request, and the Lord said no. Continued pressure by Martin’s
wife resulted in a second inquiry of the Lord; the same answer followed.
But after continued nagging, a third inquiry was made, and Martin was
given the manuscript containing the translation of a portion of the large
plates. The manuscripts were somehow unexplainably lost while in the possession
of the Harrises. With this, the Lord chastised the Prophet, and because
of his continued persistence that resulted in the loss of the manuscript,
our Father in Heaven temporarily withheld Joseph’s power to translate
the plates. The Lord told Joseph that Joseph “feared man more than
God” (D&C
3:7). We have nothing to fear when we stand for righteousness and
principle. We have nothing to fear when we pay our homage to God rather
than to man.
Be willing to stand for principle. Be willing to
be an example of righteousness. Light a candle. Let it glow. It won’t
hurt you, I promise.
Choose to Become Self-Reliant
The second choice I would encourage for you is
self-reliance. Self-reliance should be the objective of every member of
the Church. The proclamation of the family states, “Fathers are
to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible
to provide the necessities of life.” On the other hand, “Mothers
are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children” (“The
Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Ensign, Nov. 1995,
102).
Self-reliance is a basic condition of self-esteem.
It affects our confidence and our ability to achieve. It is difficult
for us to feel good about ourselves and to feel our divine nature when
we inappropriately rely on others to sustain and support us for our temporal
or spiritual needs. Self-reliance is important for families to be stable
and happy and to have the ability to serve the Lord, the family, and the
community. Self-reliance is a blessing we should all strive to give to
our children. It is a principle that our children should have ingrained
within them from seeing our own example and hard work. Our best efforts
should be to remove the uncertainty and fear about our temporal well-being
and be prepared for the often turbulent and unknown future. It is difficult
and often impossible for members who are constantly struggling financially
to hold positions of service in the Church or in the community.
This is the time in your life for the planting
of self-reliance seeds. It is a time to make the required sacrifices for
the future harvest. The importance of this time of preparedness is highlighted
in President Hinckley’s establishment of the Perpetual Education
Fund. This incentive is not only a means to help needy young people finance
their education and desired schooling and training, it is a clear and
persuasive signal to all to establish temporal preparedness as an important
priority and to make the necessary sacrifices now.
I recognize that many of you have already completed
your education or are now attending school, special training programs,
vocational training, or apprenticeships to provide for your future. To
you I say, “Stay the course.” The harvest will be worth the
sacrifice. To all I encourage you to do what it takes to become self-reliant.
And now is the season of planting.
One of the most significant obstacles in achieving
self-reliance is the accumulation of unnecessary debt. As young adults,
many of you are out on your own for the first time in your lives. You
are in the process of accumulating “stuff,” most of which
you consider essential but most of which is not really that important
for now. Lending institutions make it easy and enticing to trade your
future security and well-being for the gratification of now.
The most prevalent and most expensive debt is the
easiest to acquire—credit card debt. Financial institutions often
offer unsolicited lines of credit at seemingly low interest rates, but
the interest rates are soon adjusted to the prevailing, onerous rates
of 18–20 percent. It is not unusual to see young people with $15,000
to $20,000 of credit card debt at these terribly burdensome rates. The
debt payment is often so high that the only way they can provide for themselves
or their families is to take on more debt. Thus begins the vicious cycle
of lifetime bondage to creditors.
It is true that some debt may be necessary and
legitimate. Funds expended for education and professional improvement
may be justified as investments in your future. Such expenditures may
be the only avenue to a secure future—thus the purpose of the low-interest
Perpetual Education Fund. Most people have to take a mortgage, at relatively
low interest, to acquire a home. But in all instances prudence and conservatism
should be used. Many of the things we feel we need now could be scaled
down or delayed until we can pay for them. Eliminating the interest can
greatly reduce the cost. In many instances the interest paid far exceeds
the original cost of the purchase. Someone once said: “Those who
understand interest collect it. Those who don’t, pay it.”
President J. Reuben Clark Jr. once cautioned,
“Avoid debt as we would avoid a plague” (in Conference Report,
Apr. 1937, 26). His counsel remains appropriate for us today.
The unnecessary debt being carried by so many has
been such a concern to the First Presidency that President Hinckley has
warned us several times in the last few years. In April 1998 he stated:
“Be modest in your wants. You do not need a big home with a big
mortgage as you begin your lives together. You can and should avoid overwhelming
debt. There is nothing that will cause greater tensions in marriage than
grinding debt, which will make of you a slave to your creditors. You may
have to borrow money to begin ownership of a home. But do not let it be
so costly that it will preoccupy your thoughts day and night” (in
Conference Report, Apr. 1998, 68; or Ensign, May 1998, 50).
In October 1998 he stated: “I am troubled
by the huge consumer installment debt which hangs over the people of the
nation, including our own people. . . .
“We are carrying a message of self-reliance
throughout the Church. Self-reliance cannot [be] obtain[ed] when there
is serious debt hanging over a household. One has neither independence
nor freedom from bondage when he is obligated to others” (in Conference
Report, Oct. 1998, 70–71; or Ensign, Nov. 1998, 53).
In October 2001 he stated: “Life is fragile,
peace is fragile, civilization itself is fragile. The economy is particularly
vulnerable. We have been counseled again and again concerning self-reliance,
concerning debt, concerning thrift. So many of our people are heavily
in debt for things that are not entirely necessary. . . . I urge you as
members of this Church to get free of debt where possible and to have
a little laid aside against a rainy day” (in Conference Report,
Oct. 2001, 89; or Ensign, Nov. 2001, 73).
And as recently as four weeks ago in the general
priesthood meeting he admonished: “Get out of debt and rid yourself
of the terrible bondage that debt brings.
“We hear much about second mortgages. Now
I am told there are third mortgages.
“Discipline yourselves in matters of spending,
in matters of borrowing, in practices that lead to bankruptcy and the
agony that comes therewith” (“To Men of the Priesthood,”
Ensign, Nov. 2002, 58).
A review of these statements leads one to believe
this is a matter of great concern to the prophet. We ought to take heed.
Critical to achieving self-reliance are budgeting
and good financial management. It is best to live not within your means
but below your means.
Occasionally I hear of young men and women who
are always looking for the easy solution to the comfortable life. Their
ship is always just about to come in. Continued disappointments often
result, however, in an unwarranted reliance on family members or an addiction
to unemployment benefits. Now I am not disparaging those who legitimately
and temporarily require assistance while they are investing in the future
through education, training, and such or while recovering from unexpected
hardship. But I do say that those who abuse the government system or inappropriately
burden parents or others for support offend the very principles of the
gospel.
It was God who said, “In the sweat of thy
face shalt thou eat bread” (Genesis
3:19). More recently the Lord declared, “Thou shalt not be idle;
for he that is idle shall not eat the bread nor wear the garments of the
laborer” (D&C
42:42). Self-reliance is and always has been a sacred obligation and
an important principle of the gospel.
Some of us may live in an environment or under
circumstances that seem to provide little hope for our own temporal achievement.
Often vision and opportunity are overwhelmed by generations of poverty,
lack of self-esteem, feelings of despair, or lack of perceived opportunity.
Some time ago Sister Edgley and I were being chauffeured
through a city in South America. Our driver was a stake president who
was a convert to the Church. This stake president was a very successful
international attorney. As we were passing the slums of the city—houses
of cardboard and tin with no water, sewer, or plumbing of any kind—my
wife asked the stake president where he grew up. He pointed to the slums
and said, “A place just like this.” My wife then asked, “How
in the world did you ever climb out of this kind of poverty to become
the successful person you now are?” The stake president simply responded:
“It was the gospel. The missionaries came and taught us who we really
were and what we could become. My brother broke out, got an MBA from BYU,
and now is the president of a large corporation in South America. My only
other sibling is a sister, and she is a successful attorney.”
This story is repeated over and over—hundreds,
even thousands of times. In fact, the restored Church was born out of
poverty and what some would see as absolute hopelessness. But the Saints
came to believe in themselves, who they were, and what they could become.
And may I point out, I believe in you, and your Father in Heaven believes
in you. You need to believe in yourself. You see, those of us who know
that we are sons and daughters of God, created in the image and likeness
of the Only Begotten, know not only who we are, but we know who we may
become. Those of us who know we are sons and daughters of God, created
in the image and likeness of the Only Begotten, are driven by our potential
to make choices to secure the future.
Choose a Celestial Marriage and Eternal Family
Choices of righteous living and choices of self-reliance
prepare you for the most important and rewarding choice, the crowning
ordinance of the temple—celestial marriage.
When God created the world, He did it in time periods
that He called days. We don’t know exactly how long each day was,
but the account is quite specific as to the sequence of events. On the
sixth day, after the earth was created, it was populated with every “living
creature after his kind” (Genesis
1:24). God then said, “Let us make man in our image” (Genesis
1:26), for “it is not good that the man should be alone”
(Genesis
2:18). Thus Eve was created out of a rib from Adam. And then God said,
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall
cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis
2:24). It was not good for man or woman to be alone then, and it is
not good for man or woman to be alone now.
We have a beautiful and clear explanation of this
doctrine given in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.”
Several important and clarifying principles are taught in this proclamation.
Among them are the following:
First, “All human beings—male and female—are
created in the image of God.” (This we have already discussed as
being the basis of our value system that we use for making choices.) Second,
“In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters . . . accepted
[God’s] plan by which His children could obtain a physical body
and gain earthly experience to progress toward . . . his or her divine
destiny as an heir of eternal life.” And then, very importantly,
“The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is
essential to His eternal plan” (Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102).
Of all our priorities, finding an eternal companion
and establishing an eternal family should be our top priority. All other
objectives and priorities should be subservient and supportive of this,
the most important.
Although we should make appropriate preparations,
we should not unduly delay marriage. We need not have satisfied all our
wants and desires before marriage. We need not have the perfect car, the
perfect home, the perfect job, or the illusionary perfect companion to
have a perfect marriage. Acquiring and achieving many of these things
together, as companions, builds the perfect marriage. Yours is the time
of preparation for an eternal, everlasting, celestial marriage that we
have been talking about. This is the season of planting, the season of
choices.
As the prophets of Ecclesiastes indicated, there
is a natural sequence of important preparation and events in our lives:
“A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time
to pluck up that which is planted” (Ecclesiastes
3:2).
Yes, yours is the important time of planting, a
time of preparation for that which is paramount in your lives, a time
to let your light shine forth. Each of you came into this life as a glorious
similitude of our beloved Savior. You also came into this world as a “candle.”
And there is only one person in heaven or on earth who can light that
candle. Choose to light your candle.
Light a candle for righteousness. Light a candle
for self-reliance. Light a candle for celestial and eternal marriage.
These are the important choices that should flow from your value system.
You see, those of us who know we are sons and daughters of God, created
in the image and likeness of His Only Begotten, will make many choices
that will lead to our eternal destiny of everlasting life with God and
with our precious families. We will light candles.
May this be your dream—to choose righteousness,
to choose self-reliance, to choose celestial and eternal marriage. May
it be your righteous obsession in life is my prayer for you. In the name
of Jesus Christ, amen.
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