15 Ways to Create Joy When You Feel Lonely

We often feel lonely because of a lack of a particular connection we seek. But remember that there is always someone to reach out to. It may be family, friends, coworkers, ministering brothers and sisters, or other Church leaders. Think about and connect with the people whom the Lord has provided in your life to lift and bless you.

As President Dallin H. Oaks taught: “Treasure and enlarge your family connections. … Value your friendships and opportunities for learning and service, for those efforts can also lead to the joy that is eternal.”³ And as Elder Quentin L. Cook of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles invited us: “I encourage you to not focus on the connections you don’t have—but instead focus on the family connections you do have. As you do so, you will be blessed with more closeness and joy with your loved ones.”⁴

Focusing on others can help us overcome feelings of loneliness. It may be hard to reach out at these times, or we may wonder if people will want our help. But we can pray to Heavenly Father to know who needs our help, and He will guide us to those we can bless (and which will also surely bless us in return), because there is always someone who needs our helping hands.

President M. Russell Ballard, Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, reminded us:

“We live in a world of uncertainty, complexity, and confusion. The demands of everyday life can wear us down. I believe there is one simple but profound principle that can help us free ourselves from this tangled web of challenges to find peace of mind and happiness: service to one another.

“There are many small and simple ways and circumstances in which we can serve and love others at home, at church, and in our communities.

“Great things are wrought through simple and small acts of kindness and service. They will accumulate into a life filled with love for Heavenly Father, devotion to the work of Jesus Christ, and a sense of peace and joy each time we reach out to one another.”⁵

Whether in person, on social media, or even in journals or FamilySearch Memories for future generations, we can testify of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Doing so can help us feel as Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, who said: “One of the greatest joys of my life is to testify of our Redeemer and invite others to follow Him. I invite all to learn of Jesus Christ and come unto Him.”⁶

Alma also shared a similar experience when he recorded, “Perhaps I may be an instrument in the hands of God to bring some soul to repentance, and this is my joy” (Alma 29:9).

As the First Presidency has taught:

“The hymns can greatly benefit us as individuals. Hymns can lift our spirits, give us courage, and move us to righteous action. They can fill our souls with heavenly thoughts and bring us a spirit of peace. …

“… Let us memorize and ponder them, recite and sing them, and partake of their spiritual nourishment.”⁷

We also know of the great promise in Doctrine and Covenants 25:12: “For my soul delighteth in the song of the heart; yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads.”

You can find a variety of music to uplift you in the “Music” section of the Gospel Library app.

Our lonely times may not pass quickly, but Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will always be with us. And with Them, we need never feel truly alone. When we trust that They know us and know how we feel, our spirits can be uplifted. As President Henry B. Eyring, Second Counselor in the First Presidency, has shared:

“The darkness that comes when we experience difficulty can make us feel isolated and alone. However, when Jesus Christ atoned for us in the Garden of Gethsemane, He didn’t just do so for our sins. He also felt the pain and loneliness we feel when trials surface. No matter how unknown the path ahead may be, there is always One who has walked the same path and can lead us along.

“Knowing this, I promise that we can feel both joy and optimism during our trials—not just because we expect times to become better or easier, but because we trust Him. We trust Him enough to pray and ask for help. We trust that He perfectly understands how we feel during these times. This will give us the confidence that somehow, everything will be well.”⁸

Elder Bednar has also shared a similar promise: “The Savior understands our suffering perfectly. Because He has borne our disappointments, infirmities, and anguish, He can support and strengthen us. He will strengthen our minds and spirits. He will strengthen us physically and in every needful way to do the things we need to do. As we turn to Him, we are never alone.”⁹

Sometimes we are blessed to overcome our loneliness by engaging in new learning and activities. This includes what President Russell M. Nelson called “the joy of daily repentance”¹⁰ and also lifelong learning of new skills.

As President Nelson taught: “Let us accept God’s perfect and precious gift. Let us cast our burdens and sins at the Savior’s feet and experience the joy that comes from repentance and change.”¹¹

Elder Cook also shared the benefits of growing in other ways:

“The Savior, in paying the penalty for our sins, did not relieve us of personal responsibility for how we live our lives. The value of work, industriousness, laboring with our might, improving our talents, and providing for families have been universally proclaimed in scriptures from the beginning.

“My challenge to you is to examine your goals and determine which ones will allow you to fulfill family obligations, keep you on your covenant pathway, and allow you to have the joy the Lord wants for you. Remember, having a goal allows you to save time and effort by planning ahead and not missing important prerequisites and deadlines.”¹²

Even the Savior showed us the importance of continual development, for He “increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man” (Luke 2:52).

Even in our hardest times, we can focus on the eternal blessings we have, which so many people in the world don’t yet have, through our covenants. Consider the blessings and priesthood power we can draw upon, including participating in the sacrament weekly and accessing the power power we received (or can receive) in the house of the Lord. Elder Bednar has taught of this great blessing and joy:

“Living and loving covenant commitments creates a bond with the Lord that is deeply personal and spiritually powerful. As we honor the conditions of sacred covenants and ordinances, we gradually and incrementally are drawn closer to Him and experience the impact of His divinity and living reality in our lives.

“I witness that a covenant connection with the resurrected and living Son of God is possible, real, and the ultimate source of assurance, peace, joy, and the spiritual strength that enable us to ‘heed not’ and ‘fear not, though the enemy deride.’”¹³

Elder Stevenson further taught: “The ‘pearl of great price’ is the ordinances, covenants, promises, and instruction received [in the temple]. It is the happiness and joy felt by those on both sides of the veil as they receive the blessings of the temple and come unto Christ.” And he invited us to “reflect on the peace that comes from temple worship and service.”¹⁴

President Eyring has shared:

“As I study the Savior’s words and His life, I come to know Him and love Him for what He has done for each of us. …

“‘For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life’ (John 3:16).

“The gift of the Son of God is a priceless gift. He is the gift that lights our way and lifts us. He is the gift that sustains us through the difficult days of our mortal journey. He is the gift that offers divine love, lasting hope, and true joy.”¹⁵

The more we learn of the Savior and draw closer to Him, the more of His true joy we can feel. Lehi shared how this blessed him when, as he read the scriptures, “he was filled with the Spirit of the Lord” (1 Nephi 1:12).

We also have this promise as we read the Book of Mormon, as Elder Ronald A. Rasband of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught: “I invite you to read the Book of Mormon and to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ contained in this holy book. As you do so, you can find increased joy and peace in this life and in the life to come. I know this is true.”¹⁶

Sharing good words about others can help us feel better too! President Eyring taught, “I can promise you a feeling of peace and joy when you speak generously of others in the Light of Christ.”¹⁷

An attitude of gratitude can always turn a day around! As Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has shared:

“No matter our circumstances, no matter our challenges or trials, there is something in each day to embrace and cherish. There is something in each day that can bring gratitude and joy if only we will see and appreciate it.

“Perhaps we should be looking less with our eyes and more with our hearts. I love the quote: ‘One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes’ [Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince, trans. Richard Howard (2000), 63].

“We are commanded ‘to give thanks in all things’ [Mosiah 26:39]. So isn’t it better to see with our eyes and hearts even the small things we can be thankful for, rather than magnifying the negative in our current condition?”¹⁸

Perhaps your loneliness may come from feeling that your thoughts and ideas aren’t understood by others. If so, remember this promise from President Eyring:

“We know from experience that joy comes when we are blessed with unity. We yearn, as spirit children of our Heavenly Father, for that joy which we once had with Him in the life before this one. His desire is to grant us that sacred wish for unity out of His love for us.

“He cannot grant it to us as individuals. The joy of unity He wants so much to give us is not solitary. We must seek it and qualify for it with others. It is not surprising then that God urges us to gather so that He can bless us. He wants us to gather into families. He has established classes, wards, and branches and commanded us to meet together often. In those gatherings, which God has designed for us, lies our great opportunity. We can pray and work for the unity that will bring us joy and multiply our power to serve.

“To the Three Nephites, the Savior promised joy in unity with Him as their final reward after their faithful service. He said, ‘Ye shall have fulness of joy; and ye shall sit down in the kingdom of my Father; yea, your joy shall be full, even as the Father hath given me fulness of joy; and ye shall be even as I am, and I am even as the Father; and the Father and I are one’ [3 Nephi 28:10].”¹⁹

Continue to seek opportunities to counsel together in families, wards, and other units. And consider the principles that can lead to effective counseling together in the General Handbook: Serving in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 4.4.

Find something to create, whether that’s a smile, artwork, a piece of furniture, or a clean space. Consider these words from Elder Uchtdorf: “What do you suppose is the greatest kind of happiness possible? For me, the answer to this question is, God’s happiness. This leads to another question: What is our Heavenly Father’s happiness? … Creating and being compassionate are two objectives that contribute to our Heavenly Father’s perfect happiness. … Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment.”²⁰

The Holy Ghost brings joy into our life, so anything we do to invite Him into our day can help us feel that joy. As the scriptures teach, “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith” (Galatians 5:22). And in Doctrine and Covenants 11:13, we are promised by the Savior, “I will impart unto you of my Spirit, which shall enlighten your mind, which shall fill your soul with joy.”

Joy is “a condition of great happiness coming from righteous living. The purpose of mortal life is for all people to have joy (2 Ne. 2:22–25). A full joy will come only through Jesus Christ (John 15:[10–]11; D&C 93:33–34; 101:36).”²¹

Although obedience does not promise us a world free from challenges and difficulties, it can help us have strength and joy to get through them. As Elder Benjamín De Hoyos of the Seventy taught: “Happiness is a condition of the soul. This joyous state comes as a result of righteous living.”²²

And we have the invitation from Mosiah 2:41 to “consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual.”

Heavenly Father loves each of us dearly as His children. He wants us to feel the joy of being His beloved sons and daughters. He is always there for us, and we can always turn to Him. As Doctrine and Covenants 136:29 teaches, “If thou art sorrowful, call on the Lord thy God with supplication, that your souls may be joyful.”

As Elder Rasband has reminded us: “Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love us so much. We are God’s children. We should share this important truth with everyone we know. We are never really alone. In Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, we have constant friendship and support.”²³

Above all, our most important and everlasting joy comes by following the example of the Savior in all things! As President Ballard taught: “I give thanks to God our Father for sending His Son, Jesus Christ, to the earth. The Savior overcame death and sin. If we follow Him, we can experience everlasting joy.”²⁴

Elder Cook has shared a similar expression: “We reflect and rejoice in all the Savior has done for us. He gave His life as a vicarious Atonement, overcoming death and providing redemption for all mankind. I promise that following His light and example will bring us more joy, happiness, and peace in this life than anything else.”²⁵

And finally, Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles so eloquently captured that “the hope, peace, and joy that comes from following Jesus Christ cannot be overstated. It means everything.”²⁶

Truly, as President Nelson has said, “Jesus Christ is joy.”²⁷ And he continued with an incredible promise that “Saints can be happy under every circumstance. We can feel joy even while having a bad day, a bad week, or even a bad year! My dear brothers and sisters, the joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives. When the focus of our lives is on God’s plan of salvation … and Jesus Christ and His gospel, we can feel joy regardless of what is happening—or not happening—in our lives. Joy comes from and because of Him. He is the source of all joy. We feel it at Christmastime when we sing, ‘Joy to the world, the Lord is come’ [Joy to the World, Hymns, no. 201]. And we can feel it all year round.”²⁸